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The molcajete police are closing in on my kitchen

by Elisa Martínez

Where will all the molcajetes go?

The tomato recently received a clean bill of health from the Food and Drug Administration. The hot peppers were not so lucky. Jalapeños and serranos are still considered potential killers. Also suspect are cilantro and aguacates. So far, garlic and onions have been absolved.

As if all of this wasn’t enough, the molcajete — mortar and pestle — has now made the “Beware of Potential Killers” list. In the state of California it is now a crime to serve food in a stone molcajete in any public eatery. Only those made of plastic will be permitted. Will the plastic molcajetes be made in China? That might also pose a threat. Seems that those alien objects and ingredients that carry passports are the cause of salmonella in the American diet, and the government, always there to safeguard us, has come to the rescue.

I just published an article about my “Aztec blender,” as the molcajete is affectionately known in my casa. What to do? My recipe is obsolete. The ingredients are banned and the molcajete, which has been used in Mexico for some 6000 years without any problems, is not allowed either.

Surely there must be millions of mocajetes in Texas and California alone. What will become of them? Will there be that industrious person who finds a use for the outcasts? They can be used to hold candy or paper flowers. They could become powerful weapons. Will there be a huge molcajete garage sale?

Homeland Security might decommission them and crush them to build more walls to protect us from those “other” Mexican aliens. Actually, crushing them might prove dangerous.

It seems they contain lead as well. If this lead were to seep into the dirt and pose a threat for centuries to come.

They could be donated to public schools to be displayed as artifacts so tomorrow’s children might know what they looked like. And what about us who refuse to relinquish them?. Good thing we don’t yet have a home police system. So far they’re safe in our kitchens. Mine crouches next to my powerful, healthful 20th century blenders.

The grocery stores in El Paso and Juárez still have mountains of chile, tomato and cilantro, and people are filling their little plastic bags to take home. We cannot eat without this good stuff.

Two Sundays ago I had a cookout for the family. Big family that we are, I had 30 people in my backyard eating steak, frijolitos and salsa made in my molcajete. No one died.

All we need is to use good sense and clean these containers made of good rock well. Another recommendation might be fewer anti-bacterial soaps and solutions. We have completely done away with our immune systems. Living on the border makes for healthy stomachs. We are exposed to a myriad of germs and bacteria, and with time we have built a good resistance. In this age we live in fear of everything and anything. I still cringe when I see fresh green bunches of spinach at the grocery store, but I buy anyway and enjoy them with pinto beans and onion.

Eventually time will clear the names of all these good fruits and vegetables and the FDA will find more foods to warn us about. Tomorrow I’m making tacos for lunch. Can’t have tacos without salsa. I have all the ingredients ready. Among them are jalapeños, tomatoes, aguacates and cilantro. It’s going to be a good lunch. Tomorrow my molcajete and I will be very busy.

(Elisa Martínez, a retired speech therapist, is a contributing columnist with Hispanic Link News Service. E-mail her at emar37@flash.net). ©2008

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